Autumn Lockhart: From Flamenco Floors to Classroom Doors
When I was younger, I dreamed of Paris. I had a hot pink room with Eiffel Towers plastered on my walls. I dreamed of going there and even tried learning some basic French. I was so obsessed that I had my 10-year-old birthday party, Paris themed. But all of this was just a dream, and I never expected it to turn into a reality.
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Despite what you think, I fell out of love with French, and I became infatuated with Spanish instead. I fell in love with the Spanish language in middle school when I got to have a foreign language as a related arts class for the first time. After that, Spanish and I were inseparable and I wanted nothing more than to achieve perfection in it. And while I came out of my early Spanish years with confidence, this all changed considerably when I landed in Spain.
August 23, 2024, was a day full of firsts. My first long flight. My first time leaving the United States. My first time being away from my family. My first time living out of suitcases. My first time living with a complete stranger. I would be living in Madrid, Spain for 4 months, taking a variety of classes in language and culture.
After I got off the plane, a driver took me to my home stay, but upon checking the address, I was very confused. I turned to ask him for clarification, but he was gone.
After my brief panic, I internally struggled with what to do, as I had never experienced anything like this before. I reviewed my host information sheet, and managed to decipher the number 2 which in my mind could only represent the 2nd floor. I took all my luggage up 2 flights of stairs and the doors were not labeled like the address card. This new found panic prompted me to pull out my cellphone to call my mother, only to discover that I had no cell service. No internet. No GPS. And no Translating App. After I pulled myself together, I returned to the lobby and saw an approachable lady who had the nature of a mother. I eventually worked up the courage to ask her for directions and she understood my question, however she could not help me due to the fact unbeknownst to me that there were three women named Lola (my host mother’s name) who occupied apartments in the building.
It was hopeless. Desperately hopeless. I then made the decision to turn on my roaming data, no matter the cost or lengthy lecture I would later receive from my parents. Immediately, I contacted my mother and briefly explained the situation to her, and she suggested that I contact the director of TANDEM—my international language school. When the director received my message, she directed me to the lobby where my host mom-Lola would soon meet me. As soon as I turned around in the lobby, I saw the face of my guardian angel.
Lola greeted me with the native custom and all of my cultural knowledge went out the window. Hearing a mature native speaker for the first time intimidated me, and it didn’t help matters that she spoke NO English. This made me really doubt my Spanish speaking abilities and got me thinking, were the past 10 years a complete waste of my time? Will I ever speak as good as her?
As I continued my time abroad, I received heavily intense grammar courses as well as adventurous passion courses to move toward what TANDEM deems fluent—a definition much different than my unattainable standards. Despite all this preparation, I still didn’t feel confident.
Fast forward February of 2025, when I received my DELE (International Fluency) Exam results. I barely passed. And for the first time in my life it didn’t matter that I didn’t have a 100. I couldn’t care less that I’m not certified as a native speaker like those of the C2 level. What mattered more was I noticed how far my Spanish speaking skills had come and I no longer focused on what I haven’t learned yet. While my writing skills weren’t perfect, I received an almost perfect score on the interview portion of the exam and that was fluent enough for me because that means I had succeeded in communication.
I now have processed how my skills have truly developed and even get excited when local schools ask me to unofficially translate for their multilingual learner students. I have such a passion for Spanish and will continue to refine my craft forever, in hopes of becoming somewhat fluent, even though there is no such thing.
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When I reflect on my study abroad experience, it changed me in so many ways that the words on this page cannot even begin to explain. I did end up visiting Paris during a vacation from TANDEM, and I can’t help but look back at the 10-year-old girl and her birthday party and her dream of the Eiffel Tower. And now I can confidently tell her we did it. Not only did we see the Eiffel Tower in person (and cried in front of it) but we saw the world and will continue to see the world and we will share those stories in our future classrooms and inspire other Autumns to do the same.
Autumn Lockhart is an Early Childhood Education major, complemented by an additional major in Spanish, from Chesnee, South Carolina. She studied abroad in Madrid, Spain, at TANDEM International School from August to December 2024. After her graduation from Lander University in May 2026, Autumn intends to become an elementary school teacher and later hopes to receive her Spanish teaching certification.